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Don’t Worry, No One Will Notice

Would anyone in their right mind sit down from scratch and develop the tax withholding system we have today? The IRS publishes tables telling employers how much to take out of everyone’s paycheck, depending on their income, their filing status, and the amount they guesstimate they’ll be claiming in deductions and credits. Then, at the end of the year, employees file their actual returns and hope it’s the IRS coming out on the short end.

Lots of Americans use the tax withholding system as a piggy bank. Yes, letting the IRS hold your money for a year amounts to giving them an interest-free loan. And no, they won’t do the same for you. But with savings accounts paying just a hair over 1% right now, plenty of taxpayers decide the forced discipline is worth more than the interest they give up.

In 2018, the average refund amounted to $2,782, which is enough to cover some bills, take a nice weekend trip, or maybe redo your family room for big-screen TV nirvana. But one enterprising 29-year-old named Christopher Blanchett found himself in a position to snag a refund worth writing home about. And when you hear his story, you’ll realize that sometimes these stories of ours just write themselves.

Two years ago, Blanchett sat down to file his return. He had a W2 from a Sizzling Platter restaurant where he worked in Utah reporting $1,399 in income and zero withholding. And somehow, he had a W2 from a Tampa nursing home showing $17,098 in wages and a milliondollars in withholding. But where you or I might have thought, “hmmmm, something looks off,” Blanchett smelled opportunity — and he chose not to look his gift horse in the mouth.

So Blanchett chose to file his return with a straight face, based on those W2s. In due time, the IRS sent him a check for $980,000. He took that check and deposited in Sun Trust Bank. Sun Trust suspected fraud (ya think?), froze the funds, and eventually sent the money back to him. So Blanchett took that check and deposited it into a credit union, as one does, “falsely representing that the funds were from the estate of his deceased father.”

And what did Blanchett actually do with his new-found wealth? He bought himself a used Lexus RC 350 sport coupe. Now that’s not a car to sneeze at. The Wall Street Journal calls it “a capering boulevardier with a soundtrack of cute, kitteny growls.” You can get one with all-wheel drive, heated leather seats, and Apple Carplay® integration. But really . . . a Lexus? That seems like an awfully mild play for a seven figure score. (Seriously, you’d think at least part of that windfall would find its way to a Ferrari dealer.)

By that time, the IRS had realized maybe there was a problem with a guy getting back 53 times his income in a refund. Last month, they seized $919,251 that was left in his bank accounts, along with the Lexus. And they’re looking to take $809.94 that Blanchett’s insurance company refunded him when he canceled the coverage on the Lexus. (Kinda like the Grinch taking the last can of Who Hash, right?) Prosecutors haven’t filed charges against Blanchett, at least notyet. But it’s a fair bet this story won’t end well for him.

There’s no real lesson in today’s story, other than don’t be a bonehead. But there’s a great way to give yourself a nice refund, and you won’t risk the IRS showing up with a tow truck and making off with your wheels. That answer, of course, is planning. So call us when you’re ready to save, and enjoy the ride!